


blue side

by nascar



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Feelings, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Synesthesia, a lot of color talk idk, based on blue side from the hixtape, haechan is just mentioned, uhh idk word vomit man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 05:59:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13991958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nascar/pseuds/nascar
Summary: He knew every color that made Lucas up and loved him from his scarlets to his navies and every color in between.aka: whole lotta color shit





	blue side

**Author's Note:**

> if ur reading this ur gay

Red.

 

Lucas was red. He was red when he had first kicked his soccer ball into Jungwoo’s backyard when he was eleven, red when he had laughed out an apology and asked Jungwoo if he wanted to play with him, red when he explained that he had just moved to Seoul from China in cute accented korean. Lucas was red when he dragged Jungwoo out of the cool refuge of his bedroom and out into the fiery summer. He was red when he had tugged a crying Jungwoo back home to bandage his bloody knee, fire behind determined brown eyes.

 

He was red when they’d started middle school and Lucas had made friends so effortlessly, red when he’d joined the soccer team and blended effortlessly into the sea of oranges and yellows. He was red when he laughed at Jungwoo’s comments on his distaste for the pig headed sports boys who crowded their table at lunch, still red when he had silently dragged Jungwoo back to a quieter spot of the library, because even if he treated it lightly, they both knew Lucas would happily step off the top of the empire state building if Jungwoo asked. He was red when they’d started high school and started kissing girls, red when he and Jungwoo had their first big fight over it. 

 

“Why is it your business?”   
  


Jungwoo couldn’t answer that question. At least, not out loud. Lucas had been a red smudge across the street when Jungwoo had been hit by the car. Jungwoo could hear the red bleeding through the walls from where he lay in the hospital room while Lucas argued with the doctor that he  _ was _ family, and that he needed to see Jungwoo immediately. They’d never fought again. Lucas had never kissed another girl either. 

 

Lucas was red when he was sixteen and Jungwoo was seventeen, and they lay on Jungwoo’s bed in silence. Jungwoo hadn’t meant for the words to slip out. Living with the words inside him for so long had provided a comfortable ache in his chest, and the familiar weight tumbled out so easily. 

 

“I like boys.” 

 

They hadn’t been walking anywhere near the landmine, the conversation had been a steady tug and pull of school and whether or not they thought Haechan would get his ass kicked for stealing the football team’s trophy from last season (Jungwoo bet they wouldn’t even find out it had been the sneaky asshat in the first place), but for some reason it had just fallen. Jungwoo had dived into the landmine headfirst, chest cracking open and spilling out everything that had once made an uncomfortable secret home in there. Laying it out on the table like the cards in fifth grade when they had started the underground pokemon trading hub on the playground. 

 

The air between them buzzed and crackled with static, Jungwoo looking anywhere but Lucas. He wasn’t sure if he’d cry if Lucas got up and left, if he never spoke to Jungwoo again, if he told Jungwoo he couldn’t stand to be around him anymore. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling. 

 

Only Lucas did none of those things. 

 

He’d only broken into that goofy lopsided smile and drawled out in an annoying voice, “Oh so is that why you’re so in  _ love _ with me?” 

 

“No.”  _ Yes. _

 

Red. Lucas was red. Crimson when he shot the winning goal, scarlet when he whooped out in joy from the sunroof, speeding down an empty highway. Ruby when he’d flicked _ the _ look at Jungwoo from under hooded eyes, tongue darting out nervously.  _ Cherry _ when he had first kissed Jungwoo in the front seat of his souped up dark convertible, crushing Jungwoo closer until he crinkled up and set aflame like a piece of paper. Rose when he snuck through Jungwoo’s window late at night like, filling the room with fire in his touches, with Jungwoo in every space in between. Absolute vermillion when he glowed against the sun, stupid smile plastered against his face, an acceptance letter in his hand that matched Jungwoo’s. Wine red, punch drunk on happiness until Jungwoo pulled him in and kissed the grin off his face. 

 

Red. Lucas was red. He had always been red. 

 

Except for when he wasn’t. 

 

Lucas was also blue. He was blue when he was homesick, when he missed China and his old house, and he was blue when his golden lab Anna had run away, taking with her the last friend from home Lucas had.   
  
Lucas was blue when he doubted himself, when he pushed too hard for perfection and validation. He was blue when he was sure that he was going to fail, when he didn’t always hit the mark. Blue when his new friends pushed a little too hard and he gave a little too much, when his parents told him he was disappointing them.    
  


He was blue when they had started high school and realized he’d had no classes with Jungwoo. Blue when he realized that he’d never considered the possibility that he wouldn’t have Jungwoo by his side. 

 

He was blue when Jungwoo had first told him he didn’t like the girl Lucas was seeing. Blue when he had pushed for an answer, a reason, anything, and all he got was a dead end and his best friend unconscious and bleeding out in the middle of the street they used to race their bikes down when they were kids. 

 

He was blue when he waited at the hospital for Jungwoo to wake up and be okay so _ they _ could be okay. He was blue when he missed Jungwoo’s soft smile and softer voice. 

 

He was blue when he had seen the genuine fear in Jungwoo’s face when he’d blurted out his secret into the space between them. Electric blue etched in his eyes when he realized Jungwoo was terrified of  _ him _ , of what  _ he’d _ say. He’d felt his chest fill with deep cerulean that he could have that effect on Jungwoo,  _ his _ Jungwoo. Jungwoo whose quiet ripples ebbed into Lucas’s own tsunami until he was only the tide.    
  
Lucas had always been a fiery spatter of crimson on cyan. Skin ablaze and eyes pure  _ red _ , and just under that, when Jungwoo pressed down against the heat he found it melded with a chilling cobalt until Lucas was a multifaceted violet. Cooling the pure burn of Lucas until he was just bearable to touch.

 

And when the blue was too deep, Jungwoo was always there to nestle himself against Lucas’s heart and press against him until the blood red pulsed and flowed and let the slippery gold threads pull him back together. 

 

When the flames tore through Lucas, smoldering at his edges and flickering through his eyes, Jungwoo was there too. There to brush back the wildfires tangling themselves on Lucas’s shoulders and hands, there to smear sapphire into his cheeks and spill lavender over his lips until he was no longer the sun but only a star. Only then could Jungwoo open his own eyes against the dimming of the harsh flare. 

 

Jungwoo had spent enough time tangling himself in the smatter of Lucas that he knew how to stay warm, and how not to get burned, knew how to stay afloat and how to keep Lucas from absorbing himself, how to keep himself under the waves of Lucas’s deepest blue but new how to surface for breaths of Lucas’s reds. He knew every color that made Lucas up and loved him from his scarlets to his navies and every color in between. 

**Author's Note:**

> comments n kudos would be SWEET. hmu on tumblr @cverrybomb  
> betaed by @spaceythebeta on tumblr <3


End file.
